smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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