Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
