I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize