we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
