Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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