We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I could fuck to npr.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
