I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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