Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
