okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
