I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
