Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
