guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
