you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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