he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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