he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
