So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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