yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
