I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
