I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
