I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
is that a dick in a sweater?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
