5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
