This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
