We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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