I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize