Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
