it hurts more in the daytime
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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