I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
