I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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