it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
