I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
