I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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