You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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