When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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