Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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