Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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