it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize