you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
