it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
