I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
