Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
