We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
