Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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