me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
