Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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