She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
