You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you win again, gameday.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
