Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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