i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
