Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
