i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
