Even water is tasting like jack daniels
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
