i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
