I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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