If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
