Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
