Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
