I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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