im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
