tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are we still banned from the library?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
