I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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