Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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