I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize